Comments on: You Bet Your Life (and your baby’s life too?)

By: Karen

Karen — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:39:04 +0000

I just want to add that women who have had previous miscarriages and are now pregnant again are scared into having the most medicalized pregnancy and birth possible. I have a cousin who miscarried 4 babies before 8 weeks, and with the 5th pregnancy she had the works – every test known to man, weekly ultrasounds, etc. They railroaded her into an induction @ 38 weeks (”You’ve already lost so many babies, don’t you just want to get this one out where he will be safe?”) Of course the induction failed, and she ended up with a c-section and a 4 lb baby in the NICU. And her OB doesn’t do VBAC, and she doesn’t want to switch providers, so she has already had one repeat cesarean and will likely have more. Whether her care providers really think they have done the right thing with her, or are simply preying on her natural fears, I don’t know.

As mothers we are so driven to do what is best for our babies, that sometimes we think that difficulty conceiving = difficulty continuing a pregnancy = difficulty giving birth. But that simply isn’t true.

And one more thing about my cousin – and this is something that we all know already. She doesn’t want to hear about her choices. She trusts her provider, she knows that he is going to do the right thing for her, so she doesn’t want to hear about other options. I have a friend who is suffering from some pretty common pregnancy discomforts, things easily taken care of. But her OB only prescribed medicine, and she doesn’t want to know anything about pelvic tilts or birth balls. It’s frustrating, to know a better way that would help women have a more favorable outcome, but they don’t want to hear about it. And in the end, these women are also getting the birth they wanted. I just don’t understand why anyone WOULD want it.

By: Carina Searight

Carina Searight — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:14:39 +0000

I think #1 needs to be ammended so that it’s clear that they are not about putting their patient OR patient’s baby 1st.

It was expressly implied by Dr.’s in all 3 of my pregnancies that natural birthing was selfish, because it wasn’t best for my baby! What a load of lies I was fed! I’m so glad that even though I caved into many of their requests with my first, I was educated enough not to do so with my 2nd! I’m being pressured with my 3rd but feel out of options because my husband want’s me to deliver in a hospital this time.

By: Amy Romano

Amy Romano — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 14:58:20 +0000

I want to thank all of you for your thoughtful, honest, and often utterly heartbreaking comments. You have confirmed to me that a pregnancy and birth version of this book is badly needed.

Using Random.org, I randomly selected a winner from the eligible comments, and the winner was Jennifer Simons. Thanks to all of you for your participation. I’ll leave this post open for additional comments if others want to weigh in or continue the conversation.

By: Allison

Allison — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:09:27 +0000

I was a sheeple who failed to confirm my diagnosis. With my second child I was scared into a c-section with talk of macrosomia and shoulder dystocia. If I had only done my research, I would have learned that 3500 c-sections are necessary to prevent ONE case of shoulder dystocia!! Such a ridiculous reason for a c-section, I am still kicking myself over not looking into it and seeking a second opinion. Yes, my son was large at 10 lb 4 oz, but big babies run in my family and I birthed my 1st child, an 8 lb 10 oz baby, with only 15 minutes of pushing!! I should have walked out and fired that OB the second she started talking about him being “too big”. Patients really do need to educate themselves–they are their own best advocate!

By: Alicia Kaye

Alicia Kaye — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:33:49 +0000

I’m posting a couple of stories seperately so the posts aren’t so long-too late:)
With my second everyone said I was so big, I was all baby at 142lbs and 5′4″. I had hired a midwife who was over an hour away or more if there was traffic! The hospital was only five minutes away from me so at 42 weeks I was having some pretty consistent contractions and didn’t want to have her if it wasn’t really time. I had a friend drive me over to the hospital to the L&D to be checked. As soon as we walked into the office the nurse standing at the desk proclaimed there was no way I was having that baby vaginaly and asked if I was having a csection. I said no that I was just there to be checked because I was having contractions. She laughed at me and said very sarcastically-’sure, I’ll see you after surgery!’ The PA on call walked into the room and I explained my midwife was far away and I wanted to be checked before calling her. He walked back out and said he was going to call the OB on duty. I was hooked up to all the monitors and asked to change into a gown. I refused and said I was fine in the long skirt and shirt I was wearing. The CNA was surprised and said I HAD to change because if they had to take me upstairs to labor and delivery I would have to be in a gown. I told her I wouldn’t be going up there and she left the room. The PA came in and looked at the tape then hurredly walked back out. Ten minutes later he said the OB was going to prep me for a csection because I was having contractions, dilated to a 5 and was not going to birth the baby vaginally because she was too big. I laughed and got up and walked out. 4 days later I went into labor for real and called the midwife and 15 minutes after she got here my 9lb. 4oz. baby girl came into the world with no tearing and very little warning! They don’t have your best interest in mind. They simply want the easiest route for them.

By: Cristina

Cristina — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:26:54 +0000

Another mistake: thinking you can go it alone.
Especially as a birthing mother. When plans change, it’s good to have someone, or several someones, that can help advocate for you. We all forget how susceptible we can be to “suggestions” when we’re in the hospital, for what ever reason. Having another person there can help with everything from asking for explanations to making sure you’re not given the wrong meds

By: Alicia Kaye

Alicia Kaye — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 22:17:45 +0000

When I was pregnant with my first I was having a fairly uneventful pregnancy. I hit my 21 week mark and started feeling extremely crampy. On the second day I went to the hospital to make sure everything was ok with my son. My husband was deployed so I went into the hospital to see the OB by myself. The nurse told me the doctor wasn’t available so she was going to admit me because I was having contractions and I was dialated to about a 1. I was terrified. Everything was going so good and now they were admitting me. They hooked me up to the machines and an IV. The nurse came in 2 hours later and said “this would all be over with soon.” I asked what she was talking about and she says while drawing something into a syringe, “oh, your having a miscarriage. We’re just going to give you some pitocin to get the labor going and in a couple of hours you’ll expel the fetus and then you’ll be able to go home. Probably the same day!” She said it so chipper, like I should be excited that I would be able to go home the sae day as losing my baby. I asked her if the baby looked like he was in distress and she said no but there wasn’t anything the doctor wanted to do. I pulled out the IV and got up off the bed and told her I was leaving. She said I couldn’t do that because I would end up miscarrying at home and it would be dangerous. I asked why I hadn’t seen the doctor yet and she said he didn’t need to see me because this was routie and he had more important cases to take care of right. So not only was I not important enough to be seen-even while supposedly having a miscarriage-but this was just routine. I told her I was signing out AMA and IF I miscarried I would come back. I couldn’t grasp forcing a baby out of my body who didn’t have any medical need to be forcced out. I left, switched to a midwife and had a home birth at 42weeks and 4 days. The midwife I called told me to lay down have some water and make sure the thick Virgnia heat wasn’t dehydrating me. I stayed at 1cm until the last week I was pregnant. I went in shortly after my son was born and showed the staff and him my healthy beautiful baby that they were ready to kill and walked out. So sad that they considered what the were going to do to me routine. How many others had they done this to? I listened tomy intuition instead of blindly losing my child to a doctor who wouldn’t even check me himself because I wasn’t a priority and a nurse who was just following orders.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:51:24 +0000

@Katie Yep, my #1 for a book on mistakes women make about their births is thinking that the doctor will actually be present for your labor (or that he has been present for any other woman's labor either). The reason obstetrics calls it a "delivery," is because the only part of the process the doctor is required to be present for is the baby's emergence from the mother's body.

By: Leah

Leah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 20:49:12 +0000

I made the mistake of going to an OB with my first pregnancy thinking that while I wanted a midwife, with the first one I’d pull out all the stops and be “extra safe” then for later ones I’d go to a midwife. Well, luckily I didn’t end up with a c-section, but I did end up with a major tear because of the epidural/coached pushing combo. With my next baby I had a midwife and ended up with no tearing at all even though he was 10#6 (vs. 9#1 for the first one) so around 1.5 lbs more. But no one was yelling at me to push and I could feel what I was doing.

These books sound awesome by the way!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:02:49 +0000

Here’s are two suggestions for Maternity Care mistakes.

Assuming that every doctor would make the same decision in your circumstance.

As a doula I’ve worked with clients who have been told by their doctors “It’s not my policy on this intervention, it’s every doctors policy.” This is never true. Sometimes we end up stuck in the system whether we like it or not. If you find yourself in this situation, ask for a second opinion, or bring in research to prove that there are other safe ways of doing things. When that isn’t possible, you can say no.

Thinking that an obstetrician is a child birth expert.

A midwife is a childbirth expert. An obstetrician is an expert at medically solving “worst case scenarios”. If you are not in a “worst case scenario” then why not hire the appropriate expert, a midwife.